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Holiday season is filled with the potential for joy and togetherness — but often arrives with a hefty side order of stress, guilt, and pressure. For those of us with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS) the change in routine, the festive bustle, the food, the raised expectations, and even the cold weather, can mean heightened levels of pain.
With plenty to organise, it is easy to overdo it, especially with the picture-perfect expectations peddled by social media.
This is also a time when the comparisons of before and after you became ill can feel particularly stark.
It is possible to live with CRPS and enjoy the holiday season fully. But it often requires going into Christmas with a plan — and the conscious acceptance that you need to do things differently.
We have gathered together tips and suggestions that have helped us, along with advice from the Burning Nights’ community, so that you can survive Christmas — and enjoy it too.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, remember that you are not alone. Find out how we can support you.
This can be the hardest thing to do. As they say: ‘old habits die hard’.
Holiday season often comes with a long list of family expectations and obligations — whether social, physical, or emotional (generally a tangle of all three). These can force us down a path of doing more than we should and risk triggering a flare-up.
~ advice from a Burning Nights’ follower who, when she can’t make it to the table, is joined by her sisters and niece to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner from her bed.
Sometimes it’s not even other people, it’s the pressure we put on ourselves to re-create the image we hold in our heads of how Christmas should be.
Carefully assessing your expectations and resetting them is not about settling for less. Instead it’s making the choice to stay healthy and focus on what you really enjoy — then letting the rest go.
Be honest. What is most important to you and your family? What are the things that, when you think about them, you feel your body tensing up? Imagine instead not doing them. What would happen if you didn’t?
It is so easy to be sucked into a whirlwind of social pressure, putting unrealistic and unnecessary expectations on yourself.
Discussing with loved ones what’s important to you all at Christmas can be an enlightening exercise for everyone. It releases not just you, but those around you too, from the obligations to create a Christmas fantasy (often dreamt up by advertisers), allowing a more personal and joyful experience.
When you are intentional about what you want from the holiday season you can consciously establish your top priorities.
Perhaps it’s joining the annual reunion of your school friends or being fully present with the kids when they open their presents. Maybe it’s making your signature Christmas dish.
Keep your list of priorities short and be honest with yourself, and others.
It's okay to set boundaries that ensure you are taking care of yourself, especially when you’re navigating the challenges of chronic pain and CRPS.
It can be hard to say ‘no’ over the Christmas period — whether to a party, an activity, or to festive food — but you are right to do so.
Prioritising your wellbeing is not selfish or a ‘nice-to-have’, it is essential. Keep your health at the top of the festive to-do list.
As CRPS warriors we need to be organised — last-minute trips to a busy supermarket, or shopping centre, are extra challenging. We want to conserve our energy and spoons wherever we can.
For more on how counting your 'spoons' can help manage a busy period like Christmas and the holidays read our article on spoon theory.
Try to write out your whole to-do list: the food shop, the gift lists, the decorating, the nik naks the kids need for school festivities…
You’ll feel better when it’s on paper and not whirling around your head.
~ advice from a Burning Nights' follower.
As someone with chronic pain, it’s also essential to know the holiday opening hours of your doctor’s office, GP surgery, and chemist or pharmacy. Make sure you have enough medication to last you over the days they are closed — take into account that the activities around the festive period may mean more pain than usual.
Be sure that your flare kit is topped up and to-hand too.
When you have your list of jobs, delegate as many as you can — something unexpected always crops up during the festive period, so get as many things off your original to-do list as you can.
It can be difficult to ask for help, especially during a busy period for everyone. Remember that your friends and family want to help and often don’t know how — let them know that they can. You can always maintain the role of strict overseer of important jobs to you, like the perfect placement of baubles on the Christmas tree!
Of the things you have left on your to-do list (once you have delegated, delegated, then delegated some more) decide what you really have to and, more importantly, want to do.
Do the kids really need Christmas Eve boxes? Does the Christmas cake have to be homemade? Must the Christmas tree be picked out from the farm?
Opting for shop-bought, avoiding an afternoon in the cold, and keeping things simple is not lazy. It puts a high value on your time and energy, a value which is deserved.
If you choose to do the cooking on Christmas Day, we encourage you to exploit every shortcut available: buy pre-cut vegetables and prepared meat; use frozen potatoes and vegetables. Consider tin foil baking trays, as well as party plates, so you have less washing up.
The team at Burning Nights like to put our veggies in pans of water on Christmas Eve to take one heavy lifting job away from the big day itself.
If you’re feeling ok, especially when there’s lots to do, it’s tricky not to push past your limits to get more done. But stretching yourself in the lead-up to Christmas may leave you struggling on the day itself.
Try to make your goals for each day small and realistic. It can be helpful to remind yourself that you don’t have to do it all.
Whatever you can do is enough.
For a quick guide to setting limits and pacing yourself browse this Burning Nights' post.
The prospect of writing out a pile of Christmas cards can be daunting and tiring. The popular, and environmentally-friendly, option is e-cards. Choose one of the fabulous festive designs from Don't Send Me A Card and donate the cost of cards and postage to Burning Nights CRPS Support. Your support allows us to extend our counselling and therapy services to meet the high and increasing demand.
If you’d prefer to give a traditional Christmas card please do consider one of our charity Christmas cards and type out your message on your device to print as an insert to each card.
It’s simple to buy gifts online these days rather than facing a busy high street. If you register with Easy Fundraising you’ll be raising money for Burning Nights CRPS Support at the same time and at no extra cost to you.
Wrapping presents is tiring and tricky. When you’re shopping online, check if the company offers gift wrapping. Alternatively, use gift bags or ask friends and family over for a gift-wrapping session. Even if you’re having a good day, by sharing this task you conserve your energy for another activity.
Try and stick to your normal routine of exercise, eating, and rest. With the raised levels of stress and anxiety that accompany the festive period, your body will benefit from a familiar regime.
Sleep is especially important. It can be tempting to try and fit more in by squeezing your evening routine. Try not to.
If you are struggling with sleep then refer to these tips for sleeping better with CRPS and chronic pain.
Holiday season means gatherings and parties. They’re a wonderful opportunity to get together with friends for a dose of Christmas joy but, if you live with CRPS or chronic pain, they can become a source of dread.
With some preparation, and a little flexibility on the part of your host, you can still enjoy socialising at Christmas:
~ advice from the Burning Nights' community.
If you can’t go to a party, please don’t worry. This is not your fault and your wellbeing is most important.
Christmas can mean spending more time with more people — and facing the inevitable health-related commentary: “are you still ill?”, “when will you get better?”, “have you tried…”, “my friend’s great aunt’s cousin had that”, etc, etc.
Whilst often well-meant, managing ill-informed comments and answering questions from those with little understanding of CRPS can be frustrating, upsetting, and exhausting.
Sometimes it helps to try and remember that these people do care for you but struggle with what to say or how to understand. It can be useful to offer an explanation with a practical example of how your CRPS affects you: “on a bad day it means that…” Distinguishing between you and CRPS can also be helpful: “I’m alright but my leg is very painful at the moment.”
Being ready with a simple response and then moving on to something else (if you want to), can leave you feeling less vulnerable.
Make space within the festive schedule for quiet moments and rest. Stress is a significant contributing factor to flare-ups so keeping time for relaxation can help. Perhaps a 5-minute mindfulness meditation exercise or a simple cup of tea and a sit-down.
You can embrace the festive season whilst topping up your energy levels too. Watch a Christmas movie curled up with a hot chocolate, or keep warm and cosy with a Christmas jumper and reindeer socks! You could even treat yourself to an early Christmas present with one of Burning Nights CRPS self-care packs.
Unfortunately, we live in a society where relentless busyness and ‘pushing-through’ is celebrated. Forcing yourself on, ignoring pain and fatigue, isn’t right for anyone — and it’s catastrophic for those living with CRPS or chronic pain.
Everyday make time to check-in consciously with how your body is feeling and acknowledge it.
~ advice from the Burning Nights' community.
Sometimes you’ll want to convince yourself that you can do more than you can. It’s a process to adapt and accept that we can’t always do what we previously took in our stride.
Take a look at Burning Nights advice for learning acceptance of CRPS and chronic pain.
It can be frustrating but listen to your body and honour its needs. Push too hard and CRPS can be unforgiving so don’t ignore those early signs.
If you’re travelling anywhere over the Christmas holidays check out our essential tips for travelling with CRPS or chronic pain.
Remember to build rest days into your itinerary and allow recovery time between returning from your trip and starting back to work.
Talk to yourself gently, the way you would a friend. If you don’t do everything you planned to, you have not failed.
Pay attention to how social media is making you feel. During this period, when our social feeds are full of picture-perfect lives, it can be hard to remember that these are edited show-reels. Mute those accounts that are not lifting you up.
The team at Burning Nights' like to stick their favourite CRPS warrior affirmations somewhere to keep them top of mind.
Remind yourself that managing the "perfect" Christmas is a challenge for anyone, and you have extra burdens to bear.
Letting others know when you’re having a bad day, or your symptoms are flaring-up, can be therapeutic. However it can be hard — during what is often a stressful period for everyone — for family and friends to truly comprehend how debilitating chronic pain is. You may need to extend grace and forgiveness to those who don’t understand.
Please reach out and connect with us — we have been where you are. Sharing your experiences with others who have the same pain can be a great way to learn new coping strategies and unburden yourself.
If you find yourself stressed-out and worried, remember that you are not alone. Visit our support page or list of helplines. You can also find support via our social media channels — Burning Nights CRPS Support is on Facebook, X, Instagram, and TikTok.
If you are a carer, friend, or family member of a loved one with chronic pain or CRPS there is space on the Burning Nights CRPS Online Community Forum to connect with others in a similar situation. You can also find more information and links to other helpful organisations here: Support for Family, Friends & Caregivers.
Please share with us and the CRPS community your tips and tools for enjoying the festive period.
